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Week 1 - Inspired by the pensive emoji (😔)

Pensive by Woosh
Guitars done by Nia ( echoparallax.bandcamp.com )
Bass done by Raph ( apha.bandcamp.com )

lyrics

I am of the opinion that people can change
But it feels like I’m the only one who thinks that way
Come into your own, shed the dead skin away
To get chained by what you used to be

I am waiting for rulebooks to come in the mail
But till then I’ll look back at all of my fails
Stare in the mirror, wish for someone but me
Regret hits like a wave in the small of my back

Oh I have put myself under attack

I’ve been pensive for so long
Trying to figure out how I’m wrong
Saying sorry for everything
And nothing at all

I am drowning under eyes
That I cannot even see
But I’m tired of pretending
This is how I’m meant to be

I’m of the opinion the past’s in the past
But people keep saying this freedom won’t last
“You’re just running away, you still haven’t changed”
So why do I keep crying over everything I’ve done?

I am stuck in a loop of hating myself
Looking over my shoulder to see if you can tell
Every word that I say drives me straight into hell
Fall back on old habits and run into the wall again

Oh I am at my wits end

I’ve been pensive for so long
Trying to figure out how I’m wrong
Saying sorry for everything
And nothing at all

I am drowning under eyes
That I cannot even see
But I’m tired of pretending
This is how I’m meant to be

I acknowledge I’m an asshole
In the natural state of things
I have attempted to change for the better
To avoid the pain that I bring

But it feels like I’m still in high school
Like time’s a flat fucking circle
Like nothing I do will be good enough
For the people I love

So can someone redeem me?
Make into a martyr
Tell ‘em “this is what happens
When you go looking for answers”

Was I aggressive? Too obsessive?
Too wild? Way too much?
This is every single thought
I have; a constant sucker punch…

I am of the opinion that people can change
If only they learned how to communicate
I cannot get anywhere while your mouth is shut
So just tell me what can I do to make it up


I have been pensive for so long
Trying to figure out how I’m wrong
Saying sorry for everything
And nothing at all

I am drowning under eyes
That I cannot even see
But I’m tired of pretending
This is how I’m meant to be

credits

from Fourth Strike Song Jam 2023, released March 1, 2024

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Fourth Strike Records Belfast, UK

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