1. |
Bertie - Clutterhead
03:36
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My head is as cluttered as my desk
Got everything I need, but most of it’s regrets now.
Sometimes I leave my mum on read
'cause I don’t want to lie and say I’m out of bed now.
My head is as cluttered as my desk
I can’t find anything, what did I forget now?
My therapist says that I’m depressed,
but what does she expect: lost my pills in all the mess now.
My head is as cluttered as my desk
Got everything I need, but most of it’s regrets and
Sometimes I leave my mum on read
'cause I don’t want to lie and say I’m out of bed now.
Learned when I was 29
that I had a twin.
Kind of fucking sucks
'cause I’ll never get to meet them.
Wonder if they were the tidy one?
If they were the bright and shiny one?
Cos I’m a fucking catastrophe
And I’ll always be: I just can’t compete.
My head is as cluttered as my desk
I can’t find anything, what did I forget now?
My therapist says that I’m depressed,
but what does she expect: lost my pills in all the mess now.
My head is as cluttered as my desk
Got everything I need, but most of it’s regrets and
Sometimes I leave my mum on read
'cause I don’t want to lie and say I’m out of bed now.
When I’m feeling down,
I buy shit I don’t need.
My office is a wasteland
'cause discontent isn’t cheap. (so I)
Stack my bills up high.
Utilities is paid, put the rest in the pile with
a few pages of my manuscript:
it’ll be a masterpiece once I actually start it.
My head is as cluttered as my desk
Got everything I need, but most of it’s regrets now
Sometimes I leave my mum on read
'cause I don’t want to lie, cos I don’t want to lie.
My head is as cluttered as my desk
I can’t find anything, what did I forget now?
My therapist says that I’m depressed,
but what does she expect: lost my pills in all the mess now.
My head is as cluttered as my desk
Got everything I need, but most of it’s regrets and
Sometimes I leave my mum on read
'cause I don’t want to lie and say I’m out of bed now.
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2. |
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no
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3. |
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everyday x3
i
burnout trying to
make a difference
have a say x3
i've
never felt so
spent and lied to
everyday x3
i
paste the same damn smile
on my face
have a say x3
only if you're
cis and straight
well i'm just fed up
with playing it straight
i'm done, i'm done
with this plaster white bouquet
I can’t just
let my days tick away
not now, not now
you can't rinse me down the drain
Can’t paint my petals away
I won’t wilt until i'm in the grave
well i'm just fed up
with playing it straight
i'm done, i'm done
with your plaster white bouquet
disarray x3
i
can’t trust myself
will I be waylaid?
complicate x3
I’m
overwhelmed with doubt
I can’t keep up the pace
disarray x3
I
can’t put on the mask
façade broken, I’m dazed
have a say x3
only if you’ve got what it takes
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4. |
Tegan Eden - Vinca Minor
04:10
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The ice gathers weight
Cracking both me and the branches
But I hold to
the course
And drive ahead straight
I will cry after
Like I always do
And when the ice is gone
Even if the damage remains
One day the vinca minor
Will be blooming
in the whiplash
Of the highs and lows
Its too much for me
And my fragile hopes
I'll cry after
Like I always do
And when the ice is gone
Even if the damage remains
One day the vinca minor
Will be blooming
It's not as simple as
choosing to just be okay
By this point you would have tried that anyway
It's not your fault, dear.
that not how it works
And when the pain is gone
Even if the damage remains
One day The vinca minor
Will be blooming
And when the pain is gone
Even if the damage remains
One day The vinca minor
Will be blooming
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5. |
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I think that I've forgotten what it's like to feel alive
And I don't know exactly how I'm supposed to feel
I've been stuck inside this house for such a long, long time
That it's hard to tell if time is even real
Just rest, go to sleep
What the hell are you still doing up, anyway?
Just rest, tomorrow is calling you
And what the hell are you still doing up, anyway?
It's okay if I destroy myself
It doesn't matter if no one else can see
But me
I haven't cut my hair and all the dye has faded out
And I'm up past two, just staring at a screen
Just rest, go to sleep
What the hell are you still doing up, anyway?
Just rest, tomorrow is calling you
And what the hell are you still doing up, anyway?
But it happens every night
But it happens every night
But it happens every night
Maybe this time it'll be alright
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6. |
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song by LCS (lordcakespy.bandcamp.com), guitars by Alian (agent392.bandcamp.com)
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7. |
Rosie Drown - Forget Me
03:44
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I know
You will forget what you’ve already lost
You will remember that which you still hold
And burn to ashes what remains of me
I know
You’ll look back upon this very day
And you won’t know what to say
Because you will
Forget me
And so I’ll stop you there
There’s no use talking to me
There’s no use in looking at me
I’m leaving now
And I
Will make sure you can’t remember me
I will make myself forgettable
Whether I want to or not
You won’t see
This body
I’ll change my body
I’ll change my mind
So if I ever meet you again
You’ll just pay me no mind
I’ll never come back to this
Town again
Not after where I will have been
I’ll be far away
But if
By misfortune, I see your face again
It’s comforting to know
You won’t see mine
You won’t see
This body
I’ll change my body
I’ll change my mind
So if I ever meet you again
You’ll just pay me no mind
You won’t see
This body
I’ll change my body
I’ll change my mind
So if I ever meet you again
You’ll just pay me no mind
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8. |
Nose Astronaut - Dim
04:24
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bury me under your skin
i'll be whatever need me to be
i can find the contagion within
free of sin
i can breathe sulfur and smoke
i can breathe coal and tar and not choke
the room i stayed in with you when you broke
smelled of oak
bury me under your skin
i'll be your cage and won't hand you the key
i can be the same person you've been
weak and thin
i can be failure or bliss
a half remembered thought quickly dismissed
from flesh cold steel is stealing a kiss
just like this
---
i am the quiet you need
a long forgotten ace up your sleeve
i can easily bring you relief
or make you bleed
the scars i can leave will not fade
as long as you're here they'll remain
equally split between you
and the blade
i am the quiet you need
a promise and a gift to give
you just need to softly push me beneath
as agreed
the yearning will not go away
it'll always be here, lying in wait
it will shatter the peace of the nights
and dim the days
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9. |
zack.ry - higher road
05:44
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hindsight always
comes to me with the harshest tone
to remind me of everything
that i’ve done wrong
in the present, i live with
the consequences of my
peculiar combination of an
ego and naïveté
i’ve managed to cause myself more
trouble than even the white old men at
church thought i could do, guess i finally
proved them wrong about something
i can’t say every day
brings the same pain that it
used to and my therapist says i’m
making more progress than i give myself
credit for, but i’m not sure that she’s
looking at the same person i see
in the mirror, my rear view is clearer
than anything in front of me
my mom and dad keep asking me
if i’m happy and sometimes the answer’s
yes, but it’s not the question that i’m
looking for
where do i go from here, is there some
other road that i haven’t been told about
cause the only map i’ve been given was
meant to be driven by a different kind of body
i’ve mostly managed to make my
forward by finding the routes of least resistance
but i’m getting tired
can i at least get some help building this
higher road
i packed my things and moved up north
finally got out, finally moving forward
into whatever’s next, why can’t i
stop myself from thinking bout the past
and as luck would have it, it turns out
it wasn’t the landscape that made me feel south
i can’t outrun the brain that makes my
legs move
no matter how much older i get
i find my heart and brain don’t connect
they’re pulling me until i break
i am losing my steam
i’m running low on sleep
from running round
i’m running out of false securities
and time ain’t
slowin down but
i am
oh i am
where do i go from here, is there some
other road that i haven’t been told about
cause the only map i’ve been given was
meant to be driven by a different kind of body
i’ve mostly managed to make my
forward by finding the routes of least resistance
but i’m getting tired
can i at least get some help building this
higher road
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10. |
NO RISK - CHEMICALS
02:43
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my heart isn’t working
in the way that i’d like
and it’s keeping me up
every single night
i know the feeling
i know i’m not fine
yeah, i know the feeling
and i know I'm not fine
and every single time
i think i’m over this shit
every tiny little thing
just reminds me of it
i just need to sleep
yeah, i just need some rest
but the thorn in my side
is like a sword through the chest
i’m gonna take those pills
and get the chemicals
to make my brain
believe that i am happy
gonna take those chemicals
they’re the ones i need
so what? if i stay sad
for the rest of my life
i’m gonna stay up
for the rest of the night
and tomorrow is a day
that’ll just pass me by
and i’ll do it all again
til the day that i die
and what? if this is not
a perfect solution
i’m gonna fix this bloodstream
with some helpful pollution
and i hope that that helps
cause i’m out of ideas
and i hope that that helps
cause i’m out of ideas
tomorrow is a day
that’ll just pass me by
and i’ll do it all again
til the day that i die
and i’ll do it all again
til the day that i die
and i’ll do it all again
til the day that i die
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11. |
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wrist deep in some week old dishes
you get terrified of living
there's an advil on the counter
by a book you almost read
and you see another city
in a movie, you consider
how the people there are better
in the life inside your head
somethings changed
you block more
calls then you take
you hate your job
get a raise
now your rent is always paid
on time you wish
you could spend
your life doing
anything you wanted
if you just knew what you wanted
another friend is turning 30
another friend is getting married
another friend moves from the city
you try cutting your own hair
in the bathroom, in the mirror
it's the irony of hating
being young and sick of waiting
still you always end up right here
nothing’s changed
you block more
calls then you take
you quit a job
out of spite
now your rent is coming late
this time you wish
you could spend
your life doing
anything you wanted
if you just knew what you wanted
when i was thirteen
i could swear to god by twenty
if not twenty then by twenty five
but what the fuck did i know in ‘09?
so i've been down and i keep
kicking myself all for nothing
if i don't amount to something
then i'm gonna go out screaming
i wanna love my life
nothings changed
you block more
calls then you take
you get a job
that you like
now your rent is always paid
on time you wish
you could spend
your life doing
anything you wanted
if you just knew what you wanted
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Fourth Strike Records Belfast, UK
a label of artists, mainly queer, trans, and fandom-related.
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supported by 49 fans who also own “STRIKE TWO!!”
i love you communism i love you weird trans people i love you horrors beyond my comprehension i love you vast and terrifying expanse of the universe i love you sports game that i still don’t understand and i love you sick guitar riffs
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Fractured Whole
by Cruel Diagonals
Every sound here is made using Megan Mitchell's voice, even though the music often sounds more like Earth’s vibrations than a human singing.
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Tell Everybody! (21st Century Juke Joint Blues From Easy Eye Sound)
by Various Artists
featured on Bandcamp Radio Mar 28, 2023
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featured on Bandcamp Radio Mar 28, 2023
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supported by 43 fans who also own “STRIKE TWO!!”
the garages just don't stop, and they continue to put out consistently great music.
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